It's Safer Not To Ask
by longliveSiriusBlack
Summary: This is about Seth MacFarlane and Seth Green along with two original main characters. Actual Summary is on the first chapter. Read and Enjoy :D
1. It's Kind of A Funny Story

**Written By Myself and my partner Emberlioness, it is also on if you will like to try it there instead of here. Enjoys :D**

_**Rosemarie Jeeson and Maribell Arbor, bestfriends that grew up in a microscopic town in the middle Tennessee. They started from the bottom and now they are successful hostesses on a reality television series called "What's Wrong With America." Rose is a small name author and assistant script writer along side Seth MacFarlane, himself. Mari is an up and coming comic book illustrator and voice over talent on animated series, such as Family Guy and Robot Chicken.**_

_**When Entertainment Tonight decides to do an interview on the girls lives and relationships with Seth MacFarlane and Seth Green; they get more than they ask for. The girls go into detail on their lives (and the boys), between the girls stalker friends and MacFarlane's pervy wits on how Rose and Mari should just, "Rock a threesome with me. " ET finds out that It's Safer Not To Ask.**_

The restaurant was an everyday, high scale restaurant. One that required a week in advance reservation; so Rose Jeeson-MacFarlane and Maribelle Arbor-Green chose it last minute, dragging their husbands and the poor interviewer and camera man with them. They pulled open the large class doors and stepped through with suave and grace. Well, grace for Mari. Rose almost tripped over her flip flopped decked feet and had to be steadied by Seth MacFarlane. Her usually pale cheeks flushing red as a giggle escaped her mouth, and her best friend laughed with her.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," she grinned and straightened herself up, touching her husband's hand that rested on her hip. He held in a laugh, his trade mark smile flashing to the surface. Mari took the arm of her husband, Seth Green, and the two girls—and their husbands—led them to the hostess. She stood behind a deep, red wooden podium, her manicured fingers taping the reservation book in front of her. She was wearing a tight black dress with simple red lipstick, her natural red hair in a bun at the nape of her neck. Her eyes widened at the sight of the group. Rose giggled; knowing exactly what she was seeing.  
Rose's golden blonde hair was in a pony tail high on her head, mismatched earrings (one black skull stud, a black heart stud, a dangly red dr. Pepper bottle top, and a feather) a simple red t-shirt, and black knee shorts. Mari was at least half way decent for this fancy-dancy place. She had on designer jeans and a tight purple blouse, a pair of black wedges, and her deep brunette hair was curled and pinned. At least Seth and Seth wore business casual suits—both black with no ties. They all looked like an odd pair and it didn't help that Rose and Mari were now holding pinkies.

They sauntered up to the wide eyed hostess with large beaming smiles. Ross leaned against the podium and looked over the reservation book, "Yeah, we don't gotta reservation, but, we want to eat here." she let her southern drawl flow through her words. The lady looked startled before she composed herself.  
"I'm sorry, I can't do that," she gazed at Rose, who lifted up and leaned back against Seth—allowing him to wrap his arms around her and smiled at the lady. Her eyes—they were green—widened as she got an eye full of MacFarlane and Green.  
"Oh...Mr. MacFarlane, Mr. Green I-uh-I'm sorry. Would you like a table?"  
Before the men could answer, Rose and Mari spoke up.  
"No, carpet for six please!" they beamed at each other and high fived.  
Seth MacFarlane shook his head, "Yes, a table please. We would like one back and away from the crowd. We are conducting an interview and would like privacy." MacFarlane sounded way to mature. Rose looked up at her husband and raised an eyebrow.  
"Yeah, what he said." Seth Green smiled. That caused the girls to laugh loudly and make the hostess jumped backwards.  
"Um- follow me," she grabbed six menus and marched off towards the back of the restaurant. The group followed.

Once seated, Green and Mari on the left side, Rose and MacFarlane on the right. The interviewer sat at the head of table nearest to where they entered. The camera on the other end, already starting to set everything up. Rose ordered everyone something to drink. Wine for the Seths and Dr. Pepper ("but, ma'am we don't-" "get it!") for her and Mari.  
The interviewer was both shocked and amazed by the group. They were everything you'd expect them to be and a little bit more. Rose was a very open and loud personality, very much like MacFarlane himself. Mari was more timid yet loud and proud when she wanted to be, just like Green. They matched perfectly yet you could see the major differences. Rose hated when you were to mean, or couldn't hold your tongue. She distasted alcohol, yet was not afraid to drink it when her husband drank some. Mari was kind and nice, intimidated a little to easily by loud personalities. Which caused Rose to become very protective over her. Green continued to stroke her arm carefully and made sure not to make his touches inappropriate. MacFarlane and Rose on the other hand went all out with their touches.  
"So, Mrs. MacFarlane-"  
"Rose, please-"  
"Yes, Rose, we were wondering how exactly you an Seth met. Surely it was a good while ago; seeing how long your guys paths have been crossed." The interviewer, her name was Anne, was straight and to the point. Not wasting anytime in her questioning and her process while doing it. She caught Rose's deep blue eye and felt a smile on her lips. Rose looked happy and proud, which meant she was going to tell you whatever you wanted to hear.  
"Fun question, I love that question. Funny enough, me and Sir Filterless over her met while I was a senior and college..."

(((((((((((:::11 years ago:::))))))))))

I leaned back against the stairs of the stage, my pen flipping between my fingers. I had to finish my skit for the performance portion of the theatre festival and my mind felt full to the brim.  
"If it explodes, Garrett will kill me for getting brain matter all over the stage." Garrett was the "director" of the festival; he was a total ass but his creative mind was like heaven. I didn't like being his mind very long. I stopped flipping my pen and stated down at the half- finished dialogue in my lap. Words, words wonderful words. Ok, I'm losing it.  
"Come on Jeeson, think, think!"  
"If you think to hard you'll break something."

"ahhhhh!" I jumped up and lifted my left leg up to my chest, my arms whipping out in front of me. A man with dark near black hair and a goofy smile was standing at the top of the stage. He was in a blue button down shirt and blue jeans, a pair of black and blue skechers on his feet. Funny, he doesn't look like a skechers kind of guy. I looked up at him directly and saw his eyes, deep chocolate brown eyes. Suddenly i hit me who this was and I felt embarrassed by my stance. Dropping my arms and legs I looked for my unfinished skit.  
"Behind you," he said and pointed.  
"Uh...thank you...Seth MacFarlane," turning around i picked up the papers. My heart was stuttering and I swore my stomach was some where in southern Africa.  
"Are you a writer, or a drawer?" He asked, stepping down from the stage to stand in front of me. I looked at the scribbled words and felt way to self conscious for my own good.  
"A writer. I'm- uh- writing one of the skits for the performance section." he looked at the papers and held out his hand.  
"may I?" oh God! Oh God!  
"uh-"  
"You don't have to let me, I was just curious. Judging by your ninja skills that you just pulled out; you seem like a creative women." his town turned very flirty and I raised a brow at him.  
"Ninja skills? Dude, that was more like ancient pimp shiz." he laughed loudly and smiled more brightly at me.  
"Oh, what is your name and where can I get more of you?" he stepped closer to me.  
"Rose Jeeson, I'm a student here at UCLA,"

"Is that actually how it happened?" Anne's thin brow raised incredulously.  
Rose and MacFarlane exchanged a sly look, "Well, of course." Seth smiled.  
"What about you Mari?" Mari's chocolate eyes floated to the interviewer's face. A gentle smile spread across her lips as she measured the look of polite interest on the woman's face. "When did you meet your own husband?"  
"Well, for me to answer that, I'd have to tell you how I met tall, dark, and MacFarlane over there." Mari answered.  
"Go ahead." The interviewer allowed.  
"It was about two months after Seth and Rose had met…" Mari began.

(((((((((((:::11 years ago:::))))))))))

The art academy I was attending in Oregon was on spring break, and I hadn't seen Rose in a while. So, I decided to go stay with her during the break…  
I walked up to the to the blonde I called my soul sister, my sketch book clutched in my hands. She didn't see me coming, and I knew it. She and I had a habit of scaring the crap out of each other if the other wasn't paying attention, and so I did.  
She jumped about ten feet in the air, a squeal of surprise leaping from her mouth, "I swear to God MacFarlane—" I raised an eyebrow as she whipped around to face me, a smug curiosity lighting in me.  
"MacFarlane?" A smirk flittered across my lips.  
"Mari!" She squealed, her normally wide and goofy grin plastered on her face. Her long arms wrapped around me, embracing me into an excited hug. She pulled back and gave me a falsely seductive look, "Well hello there sexy…come here often?"  
I couldn't help the wide, warming grin that spread across my face. "I dunno, but you—darling—are quite the sexy beast aren't ya?" My very soft southern accent gently touched my words.  
"Excuse me, but your assistance is needed miss Jeeson." There was almost a joking politeness to his voice.  
I glanced behind Rose as irritation began to creep into her expression. A tall, dark haired man with twinkling brown eyes was smiling goofily as he strut forward. It was none other than the dark one himself, Seth MacFarlane.

"Wait!" Anne chuckled, "What did you call him?"  
"The dark one?" MacFarlane raised an eyebrow, a smile pulling up his lips.  
"Shut up! This is my story!" Mari pointed a finger at him, her petite form seeming about as menacing as a mother tiger.  
MacFarlane put his hands up in a surrendering position, "Alright, alright…"  
"Now, back to what I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted." She snapped glaring playfully at her best friend's husband across the table.

He walked up to us, a strangely confident air floating around him. I could feel his confidence filling me as Rose turned to him.  
"What do you want?" She muttered casually. Did she really just talk to Seth MacFarlane like a long time friend!? What…?  
"I was going to tell you that we need your help planning the spring festival tomorrow," He started, "but I see you are busy entertaining your…" He paused a moment, stifling laughter, "little friend…"  
The corners of my lips fell into an irritable frown, "I am not short! I am fun sized!" I shouted. Rose snickered beside me.  
"Oh—your a fiery little one aren't you…" He smirked.  
"You know what, screw you. I don't like you anymore." I grumbled, crossing my arms and turning away, childishly clutching my leather sketch book to my chest.

"You draw?" His head tilted, sincere curiosity swimming in his eyes.  
"Yeah, I'm not half bad at it–"  
My sketchbook was ripped out of my hands, "Not half bad!? Do I have to use my ninja skills to whoop yo ass?" Rose thrust the soft cream, leather bound book at Seth.  
He looked the cover before glancing up at me, "Do you mind?"  
I waved my hand for him to continue absentmindedly, not bothering to realize that Seth Mac-freaking-Farlane was looking at my sketches. Rose gave me a smug pursed-lipped look as he flipped through the pages.  
"These are really good," He nodded his head, an impressed look in his deep chocolate eyes, "Have you thought of going into cartooning business?"  
"Actually, I'm majoring in animation and minoring in graphic design up at the art academy in Oregon." An impressed look crossed his face as he pulled out a card.  
"Well, if you are ever interested in maybe an internship just to get your feet wet, give me a call." I couldn't help the gasp that rang from between my lips as Seth MacFarlane handed me his business card.

The interviewer nodded, "Alright, so how does that lead to your meeting with your husband?"  
"Well, that was our senior year of college. And about four years—I think—after we met, he asked us to co-star on Family Guy, and that's where I met my man." She turned to Seth and brushed her lips across his. "Rose, you remember when we first met my hubby right?"  
"Yup." Rose popped the 'p' and looked up at her.

(((((((((((:::7 years ago:::))))))))))

Mari and I were being lazy as hell an lounging on our couch. We had finished filming about three hours ago for our reality t.v show. Neither of us knew what we wanted to do and neither of us could decide what to listen to, so we settle for sprawling lazily on the couch.  
"Dude, for people who have NO free time- we HAVE to much free time," I grumbled into the pillow on my face.  
"Are you trying to suffocate yourself?" Mari inquired while ripping the pillow off of my face. She gave me a raised eyebrow and leaned back against the couches arm rest. Her arm folding across Sasuke's face (that was who was on her shirt) and threw her chestnut hair back with a twist of her head.  
"No-yes-maybe; I don't know! I haven't been bored in three years and I realize why I hated it. I hate being bored because being bored is boring," I pouted. Mari looked at me once more before doing a backwards flip of the arm of the couch. (If I would have done that, something would have broken!) I looked at he once before just, normally, standing up and off of the couch.  
"Lets go do something, something fun." she grabbed my hand and ,while nearly pulling my arm from its socket, pulled me towards the hallway leading to the front door. I stumbled along behind with on half of my usual enthusiasm.

"I did not almost pull your arm from its socket!" Mari threw her napkin at her best friend. Rose batted it away and threw hers right back.  
"Shut up, I'm talking!"

I stopped halfway to the door because I noticed my phone was lit up on the side table. I will admit, i was half tempted to just walk away from it. Until it rang again.  
"Hold on," I grabbed it and answered it while waving off Mari's sneer, "Hello?"

"Rose! Hey it's me, I gotta ask you something," My mouth fell open at the voice on the other in the phone. I hadn't heard from that voice in nearly two years, give or take a few months.  
"Seth...MacFarlane?"  
"That my name, moan it loud." I rolled my eyes at him and turned back towards the living room.  
"Hi Seth, what do ya want to talk about?" Walking through the living and making my way to the stairs leading up to my room.  
"Actually I want to talk to you and Mari. We need two guest stars on Family Guy and we know you guys are big.."  
"Awe Seth are you asking us to be on your show?" I feigned a flirty tone and batted my eyes at the air around me. Sitting down on the bottom stair I watched Mari walk up to me. A big question mark floating above her head. I gave her the one minute sign and waited for Seth to answer.  
"Not just you, I asked the might midget-corn too-"  
"Telling her you said that!"  
"Pfft, like I care...don't tell her. Look are you guys in to it or what? You get you, her and Rick can fly out to L.A tomorrow and come by the studio. We'll have everything set up and we'll have a meeting explaining the episodes and everything. We just need the confirmation by ten tonight and a flight time." I stayed slightly for a few seconds and looked at the floor.

"What is he asking?" Mari gave me yet another question mark look. I put the phone to my chest and smiled at her.  
"He asked if we want to star on Family Guy, yes or no?" her mouth fell open and I wondered when the hell me and he'd switched places. She nodded wildly before jumping up and down excitedly and clapped her hands together.  
"Sooo-no!"  
"Yes! Tell him yes!" I put the phone to my ear again and made sure Seth was still on the other end.  
"So?"  
"Count us in Dr. Scotch."

MacFarlane pulled Rose into a kiss and let it linger until Anne coughed softly. He let her go while smiling proudly.  
"We booked a flight an hour, late called Rick, and was off for L.A. In the morning." Rose and MacFarlane continued to gaze at each other while Anne looked at Green and Mari.  
"So now how did you meet, exactly."

((((((((((((7 years ago)))))))))))

It was a warm summer's eve—

Rose reached across the table and smacked Mari, "What!?"  
"Stop being stupid!"  
"It my story, I'll tell it how I want." Mari chimed smugly, "Got a problem with it? Well you can suck it."

It was a warm summer's eve—

"It wasn't even summer. It was february." Rose complained.  
"Fine!"

It was warm summer's eve in the middle of february, and we were blossoming in fields of butterflies and rainbows—

"Mari!"  
"Fine!" Mari grumbled, "I'll tell the LAME story…" For the first time, Seth Green was staring at his wife like she was insane.

It was actually warm…but we were in California after all… ANYWAYS…

Rose and I looked up at the tall building where we were supposed to meet Sargent Filterless. I wasn't going to be too afraid to admit that I was rather intimidated. The tall, practically glass building where the magic—if you could call it magic—of Family Guy was made.  
I took a deep breath and let Rose go first—or, well, I shoved her ahead of me—with Rick trailing behind us. He gave us that motherly look of "wtf", but by now he'd learned to laugh it off and that it was better not to ask questions. Or people would get hurt…

"Very hurt." The Seth duo muttered in mock grimness.

Anyways…

When we entered, we were greeted by Captain Booze himself. "Welcome to the lair ladies, wanna prowl the yard? Tour the accommodations, wink, wink…"  
Rose smacked his arm while I laughed, "No!" She scorned, a playful grimace on her face.  
"Well, why don't I show you where the magic happens…?" He rubbed his hands together as his eyes scanned Rick. "So you're Rick…I've never gotten the chance to actually meet you, but I've heard many good things about you."  
"Indeed." His monotone was blank and speculative.  
"Uh…So well…it's nice to meet you…?" Seth stood there almost awkwardly. The entire room seemingly went silent as Rick stared him down.  
There was a sudden, "Bah!" and colonel smart ass jumped back and let out a—surprisingly manly—squeal. Rose and I doubled over in laughter, both of us leaning on each other for support.  
"Man~" Rose sighed, wiping away a tear of laughter, "you are such a wuss…"

"Bah!" This time, Seth had scared the hell out of Rose, who—I swear—jumped ten feet in the air and screamed like she was being attacked. I bust out laughing even harder than before. My stomach hurt as I groped the stitches in my peach colored dress.  
"You're not so bad kid…" Rick held out his hand, a gesture that clearly intimidated the perverted wonder. "Don't be afraid, I just had to make sure you weren't a creep. I'm keeping what's best for my girls as my priority." MacFarlane nodded in agreement and understanding as he took Rick's hand. "But—just a warning—I don't care if you're famous. If you screw my girls over, I will chop your balls off and mail them to you in a cooler."

Anne's eyebrows rose, "Did he actually say that?"  
"His british accent just made it that much more intimidating…" MacFarlane muttered as though he'd been traumatized.

Mr. Family Guy himself led us up in the elevator and took us to a room where a long meeting table sat in the center with chairs all around. The table was mostly empty, except for the four of us.

"Mari, would you like me to show you some of the storyboard art?" MacFarlane asked me.  
I leaped into the air out of excitement and pranced—yes, I literally pranced—to his side. He walked into the next room and pulled out a large sketchbook. He spread it over the end of the table, and all I could see we're sketches pertaining to—not only Family Guy—but ideas that hadn't been realized.  
I didn't even notice when my future husband walked into the room.

"Oh," He exclaimed, "Didn't know anyone was in here."  
I barely heard Rose squeal, "Oz!?" Then gibberish…then, "Omigosh! We would love to have you on our show!"  
MacFarlane glanced up from what he was showing me, "What about me?"  
"We'll talk about it later." I muttered, brushing it off. No—I still hadn't noticed my love-to-be talking to a giddy Rose.  
"Well, we'll have to arrange that." He laughed, "I love your show. You guys are hilarious!" At that I finally lifted my head to see the ginger hair and pretty blue eyes. Of course—though I was absolutely obssessed with Seth Green at that time—I was in a happy relationship at that time—

"I fucking hated that penis worshiping douche ass…" Rose spat, "Still do…"  
"Rose…" Mari muttered.  
"Just continue…" She grumbled.  
"Think you can tell it better!?" Mari challenged.  
"As a matter of fact, I do." Rose stated pompously.

I had Green in a freaking death hug- probably not that deathly but pretty deathly- while he smiled at Mari. I noticed their eyes held each other longer then they should have. Looking at my best friend then at the One inch-hero captured in my death grip; I grinned.  
"Seth Green, this is Mari Arbor, I is Rose Jeeson and you are amazing!" I finally released him an held out my hand. Not caring that his eyes never strayed from Mari.  
"I'm aware, like I said, you guys are hilarious." He finally looked at me with a smile. Thats when a hand grabbed my elbow and pulled me back. Looking up at MacFarlane I gave him a raised eyebrow. He had a tight smile that reached his eyes but made him look...jealous...

"I was not jealous!" MacFarlane yelled his innocence. Rose rolled her eyes at her husband and pursed her lips.  
"Dude, you so were," she fought back.  
"Was not!"  
Green looked at his friend and co worker and laughed, "You gave me a death smile, like somehow I would make Rose my captive by shaking her hand-"  
"Shut up!" MacFarlane stopped the mighty red midget. Causing Rose to be extremely proud of her husband.  
"I'm continuing-"

We ended up spending at least two hours going over everything we would do for the episode. They gave us scripts and showed us possible drawing of what our characters would look. Mine looked way to freaking awesome to be normal, so of course I fist pumped the air!  
"We are so in, like, unbelievably in!" i was practically dancing in my seat. Rick gave me a knowing look and shook his head, Mari was to busy staring at Green and Seth gave me the biggest "Hellz yeah" smile I've ever seen, "But- there is a condition." I grinned. Rick smiled and crossed his hands behind his head and leaned back in the chair.  
"Name it," MacFarlane inquired.  
"You and You," I pointed at Green,"Have to star on OUR show," I crossed my arms and tried my damnedest not to giggle and dance. Seth and Seth looked at each other then at the other producers of the show. MacFarlane gave Green a quick nod before looking back at me," Deal."  
"YES!' I hugged Seth right and kissed his cheek.

"You kissed his cheek? You two weren't together then were you?" Anne asked with a puzzled look on her face. Rose shook her head and took a bite of her spaghetti.  
"Nein, but it's not like we hadn't already had sex and ooh shit-" Mari gave Rose the biggest bug eyed look in the world. He mouth hanging open and her bread fell to the plate.  
"When the hell did you two have sex...before Family Guy...what?" Rose dodged the flying butter roll that was aimed at her head and held up her hands.  
"Mari, look I'll explain later...promise, continuing now-"

Green and Mari really hit it off, so I was as sad as a fat kid during lent, when I found out he was with this chick named Claire. It didn't help that Mari was all; "I'm in love with Nathaniel and we've been together since high school blah, blah, blah" he was a dick biting, ass raping retard who couldn't tell his butt from a hole in the ground."

"Rose!"  
"Not sorry!" Rose yelled back and took a more aggressive bite of her food. Anne looked between the two girls and smiled. MacFarlane's song Best Friend suddenly came to her mind.  
"So that was how we met these two lovely fucktards," Rose kissed MacFarlane and Anne's mouth fell open. Apparently only her and her camera man, James, we're baffled by the their use of insults amongst each other. Suddenly a thought struck her and she asked it immediately, "When did you meet Rick?" she asked. Rose was still snogging away so she looked at Mari.  
"I met him about a year after Rose did,"

(((((((((((( 13 years ago))))))))))

I was siting in my apartment typing my Van Gogh research paper on my laptop, leaning lazily against the arm of my couch.

"Wasn't he the dude that cut off his ear?" Rose laughed.  
"It was his earlobe," Mari corrected, "Now shut up. You're ruining the story."

I was only in my sophomore year of college, and I was on my Christmas break. Despite that, my art history teacher still felt the need to assign an essay on a classical artist.  
Rose was supposed to show up anytime within in the next day or two. She said that she'd come visit me over the break—like I would come to visit her during my spring break two years later—so, while I tried I wrap my mind around Van Gogh's personal life well enough to craft it into over one thousand words, I patiently awaited her arrival.  
She'd told me that she had met someone who was interested in her writing and the fact that she wanted to become a producer. She told me that he was interested in my art as well, so she was going to introduce him to me. So, of course, I accepted it and I told her to bring him up.  
I was just about to put the finishing touches on my essay when there was a quiet, yet sharp knocking at the door. "One sec–" I called out, shutting my laptop. I placed it on my wooden side table, smoothing out my pure white summer dress over my leggings. There was another knock, "I'm coming!" I sighed.  
I pulled the door open to see golden blonde hair make a quick movement as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. She struck a seductive pose, popping her hips out as she gave me a falsely seductive look–

"Did it turn you on?" Rose turned to Mari.  
"Oh yeah…" Mari rolled her eyes.

"Rose!" I didn't expect her so soon.  
"I want you to meet Rick," She stepped aside and motioned to a handsome man, who could easily pass for his thirties—though I suspected, that with his greying hair, he was slightly older. He was one of the most handsome—and tall—guys I had ever seen, stubble covering his squared jaw and his face kind as he smiled politely at me.  
"It has been a pleasure finally meeting you Mari," His British accent made me squeak—still does sometimes, like when I haven't heard him talk for a while, "I have heard many great things about you. Rosema—"  
"Rose please." Rose amended.  
"Yes, Rose has spoken highly of you." I felt a blush creep across my cheeks as I turned a raised eyebrow on Rose.  
"You spoke highly of me?" I said, "I didn't know you could speak highly of anyone…"

"She speaks highly of me in bed all the time." Lord Pervert smirked.  
"If you people don't stop interrupting my story, I'm going to murder all of you with a spoon." Mari warned menacingly soft.

Rose pursed her lips and rolled her eyes, "Well why don't the two of you come in?" I opened my door enough to allow them through and ushered them to my couch. "Welcome to my humble abode." I muttered dramatically.  
Rose—just like she always did—plopped down and made herself at home, sprawling lazily over her love seat sitting adjacent to the couch. Rick sat on the couch, his posture as straight as that of a gentleman from the 1700s.  
"So, why don't we cut to the chase?" Rick started. Blunt and to the point…that is probably one of the best ways to describe him. I stood there, sort of timidly as he began again, "Rose has told me of your plans to host your own reality talk show."  
"Oh! That, yes…" I trailed off.  
"She tells me you are quite the accomplished artist as well," He smiled at me cooly.  
"I didn't say that. I said her badonkadonk is hella badass when she is workin' with her hands." Rose smiled slyly.

"Did she actually say it like that?" Anne turned to Rose, who simply nodded, a proud look on her face.

"I know, I was just translating." Rick muttered

"Oh, good times…" Mari sighed, "After that, he helped Rose and I make our reality tv show a reality."  
Anne's eyes shone in sly interest as she eyed Mari, "So, I heard Rose mention something about a high school sweetheart…tell us a little about that."  
Mari glanced at Rose sheepishly, "That's a long story."  
Anne glanced around, "We have time."  
Rose glared of into the distance, "If you want the truth, I should tell how he really was–"  
"He wasn't that—"  
"No!" Rose snapped, "My turn."

I couldn't stand his Mother livin' ass, he was pointless, worthless and I wish he never existed. (Yes, I went there.) You see, Nathaniel was this stuck up, snobby man who thought the sun rose and set in his ass. Mari was this sweetly, shy women who when she fell in love; she stayed in love. It never really made sense, them being together. They were like two magnetic forces that couldn't connect, only deflect. I wish, with every piece of me, that he never looked at her that day Sophmore year. God, I remember the first time I saw them kiss...EW

We were invited to a sort of friends birthday/Halloween party. I was going as a sexy Iron Man (Iron Babe) and Mari went as a cat, not a sexy car, but I thought she was...

"Did you just admit you like pussy?" MacFarlane looked at his wife with a sideways glance. Rose smiled proudly and licked his nose.  
"Only Mari's,"  
"Damn straight."

We met Nathaniel at the party, the dick loving, ass munch was dressed as Hulk Hogan. It was not a look that fit on a man like him, but the ego was the right size. The party was boring and he wouldn't leave us alone. "I want to stay with my baby, blah, blah, blah–"

"He does not sound like that!" Mari glowered at Rose and for the first time that night, a buttered roll was thrown at Rose's head. Rose caught it in her mouth and chewed it down before commenting on her best friends words.  
"Like what?"  
"Like, a midget on helium-"  
"You would know what that sounds like-" This time Mari threw her napkin at her.

We were sitting on the couch in our sort of friends living room. Nathaniel and Mari sat on my right side, all cuddled against each other. Granted, I looked sort of cute, but it was still uck. I wanted to sit down in the middle of them and claim dominance over my midget. That fucktard-o did not deserves to snuggle with my little sister.  
"Rose!" I heard an unknown voice yell my name. Turning around to find the owner of the disembodied voice, I saw nothing. When i turned around, I was feasted with a full force of Mari and Nathaniel porn-o. All nine yards of nasty, nastiness.

Mari sneered at her friend, "We were NOT that bad!" she defended herself.  
"You're right, you and fire hazard over there are worse," she slapped MacFarlane's hand away from her thigh. Her and Mari stared each other down, Rose with a large smile and Mari with a sneer. Anna looked between the two of them and tried her best to fight back a smile.  
"I don't think we are that bad," Mari started to defend herself as MacFarlane leaned into his wife's ear and whispered that, "they made porn look tame,"  
"So...how did you and Nathaniel meet, exactly."

_**We finally typed this shiz... Yis. Enjoy it ;3  
Part Two shall be up when we finish it. Yes. The interruptions are important, so if they throw off the flow of the story too much for you, DON'T READ IT! Thank you, come again.**_


	2. It's Kind of A Funny Story Part Two

Unlike what my best friend seems to think, Nathaniel wasn't all that bad…

I met him in middle school first. There, I will admit, he didn't pay me much attention, and when he did, he sort of snubbed me. I mean—who didn't. No one looked twice at me. I always wore my chopped short hair in my face and my clothes hung in layers on my slightly chubby middle-schooler body.  
If I were him, I guess I would have done it too. Confidence is beautiful, and I was not.

I was very awkward through my middle school years, and I even went a little gothic in my eighth grade and freshman year. But, eventually, my mother and Rose convinced me to stop hiding. That summer I grew out my hair, and I started wearing more form fitting clothes. I hung up my overly baggy hoodies and the rest of my layers. I even began to wear a little makeup, experimenting with it until I found what made me feel prettiest.

Mari paused as she noticed Rose glaring at her, and for the first time all night, a buttered roll was thrown at her head. "Mari, I will only say this once-" she barked, "because I should only have to say this once, you are absolutely gorgeous! You are beautiful, you have always been beautiful, and you will always be beautiful!"

"Rose–" Rose was too quick for her.  
"Shut up!"  
"Bu-"  
"Shut–"  
"Rose–"  
"Up…" Rose breathed dramatically. Mari opened her mouth to argue, but Rose gave her a look that dared her to attempt to defy her.

"I'll just continue…" Mari sighed, knowing she had lost this argument.  
"That's what I thought…" Rose muttered smugly.

A lot changed over the summer before sophomore year. I got in better shape—more like slimmed down—and I came out of my shell a little. I stopped following Rose and doing everything that I was told. I finally grew a slight backbone, and it definitely showed through. I knew it did when one day, out of the blue, something changed.  
Nathaniel — looked at me. He actually looked at me…he couldn't take his eyes off of me. In the social network of our school, he was rather high in the food chain. Tall, handsome, lots of money…he had it all. Or at least that's what many of us thought. Accept Rose of course, but you know Rose, she didn't like anyone.

I would have never believed that he would have ever talked to me until the day he did. I'd tripped over my own feet, and he ditched his friends to help me.

"Hey, need some help?" He said. His eyes didn't hold their normal snobbish indifference in them, but they seemed to yearn. For what, I didn't know–

"I know what he wanted…" Rose grumbled.

"Rose," Mari sighed irritably, "Let me tell the damn story." Rose let out a childish huff and copied her words rudely. "Rose."

"Um—I–sure, yeah…thank you." I muttered timidly. The nerves flopped in my stomach and a blush rose in my cheeks.  
He scooped my things into his arms and smiled at me, "Why don't I walk you to class?"  
"Sure…" I still remember the look of shock and irritation on Rose's face when he placed his arm around my shoulder and led me forward. Even Thyme and Constance were both staring with acute interest and a lot of admiration. I should have realized then that Rose would never like him.

"Damn straight." Rose pursed her lips, a look of sassy defiance on her face.

He walked me to my classes for the rest of the week, and that Friday, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I had many people ask me after I'd already said yes, but then I'd have to break the news that I was no longer single. Some would pitch a fit and insult me, tearing my confidence to an all new low until Rose would stand me back up, and then Nathaniel would just reinforce what Rose said before him—which pissed her off. Some would even stare at me in a state of disbelief. The rest would just walk away dejectedly, muttering about how they were rejected.

Months passed and our relationship was—

"Sickening to such a ridiculous degree that I seriously wanted to vomit." Rose grumbled, "And any time they kissed—I think I just puked a little in my mouth."  
"Remind me not to kiss you…" MacFarlane muttered, his lips in a humor filled line.  
Rose pressed her lips to his.

ANYWAYS!

Months passed and our relationship seemed perfect. We'd go on dates every weekend—Rose glowering at us from the background as she followed us—and he'd bring me flowers every week. If it wasn't flowers it was chocolate—I still have no clue to this day how I didn't get fat.  
Rose absolutely insisted that she be there to chaperon my first official date. She actually dressed in male clothes and we went on a double date —to which she dragged Thyme as the girl/lesbian lover. Constance stood around the corner silently watching in the distance. When he picked us up, he handed me chocolates and flowers and stepped away to get his keys. That's when Rose deemed it appropriate to mock my boyfriend.  
"Oh~roses and chocolates! How fabulous!" Rose mocked, "Now I will love you forever and ever, even though you are horridly cliché and unoriginal in every way. I do believe you suck dick in your free time—oh hey Natey-boy." She covered smoothly as he wrapped his arms around me.  
He gave her a polite smile before driving us to a diner where we ate. The entire night Rose stared him down, Thyme just stared off into space, and Constance looked like a stalker hiding behind a plastic plant. But, Nathaniel didn't let it discourage him. He did everything he could think of to make this night romantic.  
When we went to the movie, Nathaniel would go to put his arm around me, and Rose would throw popcorn at him. Of course, Rose hates popcorn, so she wasn't missing anything.  
He looked back at her once, "So you mind keeping your popcorn to yourself?" He had a deadly smile on his face.  
"Oh!" Rose was so faking it, "I'm such a messy eater—Ooh no!" She dumped half the bucket on him. She shrugged unapologetically, "Oopsies~"  
He just smiled and continued on. By the end of the date, I though surely that he and I would kiss. But I remembered who my friends were, so they ruined it.

Mari shot a glare at Rose who laughed evilly and crossed her arms.

It took months later for us to plan another date because one of my friends—usually Thyme—would find out about them and tell the others. Then, they would just-so-happen to show up and ruin the plans by kidnapping me.  
When we finally got out on our own, he took me to a movie. We held hands, cuddled, and even kissed each other's cheeks or noses. When he walked me home, I unlocked my door and stepped in. When I invited him in, he seemed to get a little handsy by the time we reached the living room.  
I didn't know what to do, I hadn't been through it before. He was my first real boyfriend. I didn't know that it was normal, so I pushed him away. Which this made Rose—who I'd forgotten had a key to my house—clear her throat. She was seated on the couch glaring at Nathaniel.

"Dick to yourself buddy-boy." Rose grumbled. "Or I will personally cut it off."  
After that, everything just kind of blew up. Nathaniel told her to fuck off, and Rose exploded. If I hadn't gotten in the middle of it, a fist fight would have started. Rose reared her fist back and nearly socked him until I pushed her away.  
Of course, my anger bubbled over, and I told her that I think it would be best if she left. So, she left—turning away with out a word.

You know how guys are. Their mouth starts running before they think about the ranting that leaves it.  
"She's such a bitch!" Nathaniel snapped.  
"Don't talk about her like that." I snapped, slightly offended.  
"You're going to defend her after she tried to attack me!?" He stood up angrily.  
"You know Rose, if she was truly trying to attack you, you'd have gotten your ass kicked." I rolled my eyes. He was being such a dramatic baby. This was the only argument that we'd been in since we got together, and it was over something so trivial.  
"What, so now you're calling me a puss!?" The accusation was clear in his voice.  
"What!? No," My voice rose in pitch.  
"Then what are you saying?" He snapped.  
"I'm saying that Rose is protective, and if she really wanted to hurt you, she would've." I snapped back, standing. Though he towered over me, he didn't intimidate me. I was used to Rose.  
"Well, if Rose is that opposed to our relationship, then maybe we shouldn't continue."  
That sent a pang through my heart. "What!?" I shook my head, trying to think straight, "it doesn't matter that Rose doesn't like it!"  
"I'll call you later Mari." He straightened his leather jacket, and walked out the door.

He didn't talk to me that entire weekend. Not a call, not a visit, not even a word. It wasn't until that Monday that I'd gone to school and talked to Rose that I'd noticed something was off. She wasn't mad at me—she was even angrier at him.  
"Go glance around the corner." She told me. So I walked over quickly, seeing a few students—his friends—scatter. And around the corner, I found his lips connected to another girl's—a freshman girl's.  
When her eye caught mine, she froze. She knew he wasn't single…that much I could tell. He asked her what was wrong before turning around to meet my—by now—teary gaze.  
His mouth opened to speak, but I ran. "Mari–" I'm sure he was cut off by Rose's death glare as she flanked me, followed by Thyme and Constance.

That was the first downfall in our relationship. The first time he cheated on me…but it wasn't the last time we were together. He came to me with some sob story, and I believed him. So I took him back and things were great. He seemed to accept that he and Rose were doomed to hate each other for eternity, Constance didn't hate anyone—but he was damn close, and Thyme kept her "stalkerific" eyes on him.

Somehow we made it through high school, only breaking up a two other times. Each time due to ironic spats with Rose, which I'm sure he used to his advantage when he'd cheat again. It didn't matter to me. I wanted to fill a slot that I felt was missing.

Out of high school, he and I stayed together, but it was a sort of long distance relationship. I went to Oregon to a college of art, and he went to a tech school in California. We still occasionally saw each other, but it wasn't very often. I was too engrossed in my work at the college to spend much time with him. The only time I saw him was over the all too short breaks.  
I hadn't seen him throughout all of my senior year, which was odd. Normally he would have visited me, but I brushed it off. He was just busy, I told myself. That was also around the time that I went to visit Rose for spring break. Of course, by now, I've already met the lord of perverts, so I had completely forgotten about Nathaniel. I was walking back to my 1990's, cream-colored coupé after having met Seth-freaking-MacFarlane. There was an unfamiliar car next to mine—one that hadn't been there when I'd first parked there.

I didn't think much of it. I pulled my keys out of my purse, fumbled with them long enough to find the car key, and unlocked. Then a male voice spoke, sending a familiar fluttering through my stomach.  
"Well, it's been a while. You even went and cut your hair a little bit." I whipped around an faced him. He hadn't changed; his body was the same tall, lanky, athletic build, and he still held his head high.  
"Nathaniel…?" I muttered. The frustration of his absence began to bite at my nerves, easing me into irritation. "Where the hell have you been!? Not even a call on the holidays?"  
"Just wait a min—" He reached into his pocket, but I didn't care what he was reaching for.  
"No, for once I'm going to take Rose's advice. I'm not waiting for you anymore." My jaw was set. I'd come to this conclusion long before this when he hadn't call Christmas morning. "It's me or nothing."  
Then, he grabbed my hand and kneeled on one knee, "Mari, I want you and only you, Marry me?" My resolve faltered as he pulled out a diamond-studded golden ring.

"He proposed?" Anne's eyebrows raised, a shocked look playing on her face. "We never knew you were engaged before Seth."

"I did." Rose grumbled, "I just didn't know when he proposed." Rose shot a pointed look at Mari.  
"I knew you flip." Mari stated simply.  
"Duh." Rose muttered.

Well time passed, and about four years later, I met Seth Green. I remember telling Nathaniel that I'd met Seth Green.

Nathaniel's arms were wrapped around me gently as we cuddled on my couch in my apartment. "You'll never believe who I met."  
Nathaniel chuckled, "Who?"  
"Seth Green!" I chimed.  
"You're right, I don't believe it." He laughed.  
"I met him when Rose and I were meeting MacFarlane. We were discussing I guest starring on Family Guy."  
"Really…" his voice was filled feigned interest.  
"Ironically, Rose was the one that squealed first." I laughed as he placed a kiss on my forehead.  
"You know, I support your show and everything Mari, but I doubt you're going to get big enough to have big names like MacFarlane or Green on it." Nathaniel muttered, shrugging in honesty.  
"You don't believe me?" I lifted up to look at him.  
"I thought that was clear." Clear surprise ran through his voice.  
"And why's that?" I said irritably.  
"Honestly, I expected you to become some big name artist, not some reality talk show hostess." I pulled out of his arms, "Hey, no—"  
"No what?" I muttered softly, " no offense? Well if you don't believe me, then here—" I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. Why hasn't I thought of this earlier!? I went to my pictures and pulled the one of MacFarlane and I up.  
"So what, you met MacFarlane and you got a picture. I still doubt you met Green too, and I doubt he asked you to be on family guy." I flipped to the picture of Seth and I, and I could see the jealousy flash in his eyes.  
"Was this before or after we were engaged?" Danger rang through his voice.  
"What should it matter?" I dared.  
"'What should it matter?'!? What the hell—" by this point we were on opposite ends of the couch, and there was a knock at the door.

"Honey I'm home!" Rose laughed strutting in and cutting him off. Rose glanced at the looks of mutiny on our faces, "Oh! Are we playing a game where we confess our true feelings!? Oh, oh! It's my turn!" She bounced in and plopped down in my arm chair, "Nathaniel–" He huffed and glared at her, "I hate you." Rose snapped bluntly. Nathaniel was about to speak but she cut him off, "Mari–" She smiled, "You should ditch this asshole and accept the fact that you're going to go homo for me."  
"Shut the hell up, Rose." Nathaniel snapped.  
This time I rose from my seat, anger surging through me, "Don't talk to her like that."  
"I didn't see you jumping up to defend me when she was digging on me!"  
"It's Rose, you should have learned to expect it by now." I rolled my eyes.  
"'It's Rose'," He mocked, "Who cares!"  
"Eh! Don't make fun of my shawty!" Rose snapped standing.  
"Shut—" Nathaniel started.  
"Fuck—" Rose started.  
"Up…" he finished.  
"You…" She finished.

"Is it just me or did Rose hate this guy…" Sargent smart ass muttered.

"I'm beginning to hate this guy." Green muttered, "That's your definition of not that bad?" Mari pushed his face away.

"Shush." She smiled.

That argument was only the first of many. We fought often, usually over Rose. Over the next several days, we warred over stupid things. At first it was because I didn't stick up for him when Rose was digging on him. Then it was because of the picture of Seth Green and I standing side-by-side. After that it was because I'd actually met him. He threw out many accusations, all of which I smothered before they could get out of hand.

There were many times I found myself crying off set or when we weren't filming our show. Rick was usually the one who found me, and when he did he would just hold me and tell me it would all be okay. When Rose found me, I would have to stop her tyrannical rampage to find my fiancé. She would break walls—completely forgetting that Rick would have to repair them—and send death threats through my phone that never actually got sent.  
Rose would give Nathaniel death glares of doom and wish him an unhappy life filled with death—her words not mine.

"Lots of Deathhhhhh…lots of it." Rose dragged out the 'th' as though she were a snake.

MacFarlane gave her a head cocked look, "Should I be afraid right now?" Mari just shook her head as Rose nodded.

"You guys are unbelievable." Mari muttered.

In translation, she sent him serial killer letters that Rick always seemed to pull from the mailbox just in time. He would try to warn her that it would only make it worse—and believe me it would—but she was determined to destroy him. I knew there was no begging and pleading that would call her off, so I didn't bother trying. I knew why she did it. She loved me like her sister, and she never believed that Nathaniel was ever good enough for me. That didn't seem to phase me at the time; I was blinded.

A few days after that was when we'd decided to start doing voice overs for Family Guy. It wasn't until we'd arrived that the Dark one himself had put us down for two episodes and that he would spare us not having to sing through the first one. I thought Rose was going to have to destroy him when he told her that he'd expected her to sing in our next episode that we co-starred in. I wasn't that amused myself. Voice acting I could do and I had been doing it for some time now. Singing, I could do fine, but my stage fright with that was severe.

There were many times I found myself distracted by mine and Nathaniel's last fight. He'd threatened to call off the engagement, so I could barely concentrate on my lines that my eyes skimmed off the paper in my hands. Rose and I would practice, but it was no good.

"Natural hair color, duuuhhh." Rose dragged sarcastically, reading from the script in her hands. I barely heard her words or her disgruntled sigh and she popped me with the packet in her hands. "Yo! Earth to Mari."  
I shook my head, clearing it as my eyes dropped to the words on the paper before me. "Her hair color is the only protection she has against the harsh eyes of our critics, otherwise, they might actually think she was stupid." I read them almost robotically, not really processing what I just read.  
"What happened this time?" She snapped. This question yanked my mind out of it's place as I looked at the script.

"Where the hell is that in this scr–"  
"What did he do this time, Mari? What happened? You do this sort of thing all the time, why the hell do you have cold feet now!?" I sighed under her critical gaze.  
"Noth–"  
"LIES!" She barked, "What did he do?" She barked as the door to backstage opened. "If you don't tell me, I'll beat his ass and find out myself."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt!" I turned and gentle butterflies began to flutter through my stomach. He ran his hands through his red hair and his blue eyes widened in alarm.  
"No," I shook my head, " You're fine. We were just running over our lines." I covered.  
"It just sounded like you were having a private conver–" Seth said, seemingly abashed.  
"No." Rose muttered harshly, "We'll talk about this later Mari." She nodded curtly to Seth, "later leprechaun." She pushed out the door.

Seth placed a hand on my shoulder, "You alright?" He gave me and empathetic smile.  
I nodded, "Just having troubles with my fiancé, that's all."  
"He's stupid if he's messing up a relationship with a woman like you." He placed a hand on my shoulder, "Only an idiot would let someone like you hurt." I couldn't help the nice, bashful smile that spread across my lips.

Over the time we spent working together, he and I managed to grow closer, becoming rather close friends. I was actually laughing again, and Nathaniel noticed. But, of course, he assumed he was doing it, so he didn't start so many problems. If he knew the real reason I was smiling and happier, he would just get pissed. So, I didn't tell him. I let him think otherwise.  
Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely in bliss when I hung out with Seth. He was one of my favorite actors of all time and I thought he was the cutest thing, but he and I were both in relationships. I actually really liked his significant other, Clare. She was a really sweet girl, and despite the fact that it seemed as though I was openly flirting with her man, she was very good to me.

Years passed, and Clare and Seth finally got engaged. I couldn't help but find myself feeling happy for them. They were great people who made a wonderful pair—despite the fact that she was almost Rose's height and towered over him.  
Nathaniel and I were doing no better, but I still found myself thinking that at least we weren't doing any worse. I always thought that Nathaniel was the love of my life. He was my high school sweetheart, lover, and my first real boyfriend. We we're due to get married this year, just as Clare and Seth were. Part of me envied Clare. She was getting someone who was such a beautiful person, and they deserved each other. Though, part of me swore that I didn't regret having chosen Nathaniel.

Several months later, Clare and Seth went their separate ways. I can't explain just how shocked I was when Rose told me.

There was a banging on my dressing room door before Rose burst in, "Mari, Mari, MARI!" She squealed happily. She bounced into the room and plopped down on the love seat adjacent to my chair.  
"What's up?" No smile spread across my face. Nathaniel was supposed to visit me today. And of all days, both Seths would be here and that meant that Nathaniel would actually meet Green. This worried me…  
"Guess what!" She flashed me a cheeky grin.  
"What?" I sighed, Rose didn't continue before she was cut off.

"Mari–" His voice was sing-songy as he stepped into my handkerchief sized dressing room. Rose rudely mimicked him as I turned a soft smile on him. He was in a good mood at the very least.  
"I was about to tell her something 'til yo rude ass interrupted–"  
"Don't care," He brushed her off, handing me a bouquet of lilies. "I just wanted to say I was sorry and I love you. Today will be a good day, and I'll show you that I am the only one for you."  
"Douche ass mothafucka," Rose grumbled as Nathaniel placed a kiss on my lips. "Lilies aren't her favorite flowers!" Rose shouted, immaturely stomping out of the room.

It was about half an hour until I saw an unexpected face.  
My legs were draped across my fiancé's lap as he placed tingly kisses up my jaw. There was a soft knock on the door and a man with ginger hair peeked in.  
"Hey Mar–" Seth Green glanced at Nathaniel, whose face dropped blank, "Was I interrupting something?"  
"You must be the infamous Seth Green." Nathaniel's tone was deathly calm and cheery, "It's been nice to meet you. Maribelle has told me quite a bit about you."  
"Oh-I-uh, Seth, this is Nathaniel," I stuttered awkwardly. My chest sunk into my stomach, "m-my fiancé."  
From that point on, the day passed by awkwardly. Nathaniel put on his competitive face that he normally reserved for contests of masculinity with Rose.  
He was also determined to establish that I was his, and Seth couldn't have me. He would pull me into kisses that made me swoon and giggle–

"And that made me vomit." Rose muttered.

He was the most civil that I'd have ever expected him to be around Seth. Even Rose, who he held a sworn hatred for. The day passed by in a dragging crawl, but at least some humor was found when Nathaniel met Seth MacFarlane.

MacFarlane raised a brow as he looked over Nathaniel speculatively, "Tall...athletic build...Say, what do you do for a living?"  
Nathaniel let out a sigh that shook from laughter, "Why? I'm sure nothing that I do will compare to you, Mr. MacFarlane."  
"Please, call me Emperor MacFarlane; Mr. MacFarlane was my father." He gave Nathaniel a cheeky smile.  
I hid my face in my hands with an uncomfortable groan, and no relief washed over me when Nathaniel let out a hearty laugh. "I instruct little league at my Alma Mater in Tennessee."  
"Mmhmm...so you watch kids all day long...I see..." MacFarlane stroked his chin and I let out another groan.  
"Now I see why you and Rose are so good for each other." There was a stiff arrogance in his voice that made me want to crawl into a corner and die.  
"Well, what are your life's goals?" The MacFarlane Inquisition kept rolling.  
"Eventually, I want to start up a career as a talent scout in football." Arrogance rolled through his words. He had always been proud of that ridiculous sport called football.  
"Mmhmm...so you want to be a deadbeat...I see..." I groaned once again, running my hands through my hair as my stomach flopped nervously.  
"What's with the twenty questions?" Nathaniel asked cooly.  
"I just...I just have to make sure you're good enough for our little girl, that's all." He casually shrugged an arm around Rose's shoulder. Rose's glare pierced Nathaniel, staring him directly in the eye, "Her mother and I get very worried about her, and we just want to protect our baby girl."  
Nathaniel's lips dropped into a grimace, "I see what this is; It's an intimidation routine. Well, MacFarlane—Rose, I'm not going anywhere. Mari and I are getting married in Autumn, and nothing anyone says or does will make a difference."

"That's great! Why didn't you tell me that you were getting married so soon!" A shorter man—still taller than Mari—with ginger hair ambled forward with a large goofy grin on his face.  
"Oh god..." I groaned. I wanted to crawl even deeper into my corner and die...just die...  
He wrapped an arm around me patting Nathaniel's shoulder jovially before turning his grin on bright, "Congrats you guys-" He squeezed me gently, "Clare and I were getting married in the winter, and we were going to invite you guys, but..."  
A look of mutiny landed on Nathaniel's face for a brief second, sending a pang of nerve into my stomach and flipping it up-side-down. "Hello Mr. Green. It's a pleasure seeing you again." His words were careful and much too controlled.  
"Hey, Nathaniel–"  
"Friends call me Nate." A controlled, stiff smile spread across his lips.  
"No they don't..." Rose grumbled.  
"You're not my friend." He grumbled at Rose.  
"Well...Nate, then." Seth allowed, "Well, I'm glad you consider me enough of a friend to call you by a nickname and all..." He glanced around at everyone; from MacFarlane's cheeky smile, to Rose's surly sneer, to Nathaniel's stiffly polite stance, and then to my raw red cheeks, "So, what...are we having a little intervention?" He looked at Rose, his smile widening, "Rose, are you eating all of the powdered sugar again?"  
Rose stuck a middle finger into the air, pursing her lips like a pouting child.

"Yes! And. It. Was. Delicious!" Rose shouted standing dramatically. "And I do not pout..."  
"Ha!" MacFarlane laughed.

The rest of the day carried on much like that. Rick had already met Nathaniel years ago, and we didn't have many others to introduce him to. He kept his arms wrapped around my waist almost possessively, and every time he caught Seth even glancing at us, he would press his lips to mine.  
That night, we sat in a rather up-scale restaurant—MacFarlane's treat.

Before hand, I literally had to drag Rose into my room and force a plain, snug, body-hugging black dress over her head. It cut off at her thighs, so it showed off her legs. I stepped back to admire my handiwork—I did pretty damn good. She looked hot. Her plain, yet stylish, updo only complimented my work. Once again, I did pretty damn good, and MacFarlane only helped to reinforce my smugness.  
When she walked out, I though lord Pervert had crapped a brick. I smiled to myself, pleased until Rose turned her gaze on me.  
"Your turn..." She muttered a grin sliding into place.  
I glanced down at her bare feet, judging whether or not I could out run Rose before she caught me and forced me into a little black dress like I had done to her. I bit my lip, contemplating whether or not it'd be worth it...damn it... Why hadn't I already forced her into heels!? Then she wouldn't catch me.  
I ran. And of course, she caught me—rather quickly might I add. I forced into a dress similar to hers and she let me keep most of my hair down, only curling it into submission. By the time I walked out, I was extremely self-conscious and showing way more skin than I was previously going to allow.  
"Revenge is sweet." She whispered into my ear.  
As I walked out of my room, I got a whistle from MacFarlane. My cheeks heated, and I kept my eyes on the ground, "Well, Rose—Mari, are you sure you don't want that threesome? That would be one hell of a night...Whaddya say?"  
"No." Rose said bluntly.  
The door opened and Green poked his head into the door, "Hey guys–whoa! Mari...you look...amazing!" His eyes briefly trailed downward before he adverted them. Rose motioned to herself expectantly, "You look good too Rose."  
"I look sexy." Rose corrected.

So there we sat. The lights were lit in a dim way that added to an air of mysteriousness. The long glass table was sleek and shone with an elegant centerpiece accenting its beauty. Rose and I were forced to sit across the table from each other—she sat with Captain Booze, I with Nathaniel, and Seth with Clare. The air was rather awkward, no conversation being attempted. The wine had been served, but even that wasn't enough.  
"So..." At least Clare was trying to break the ice. "Nathaniel...How did you and Mari meet?" It was an earnest question.  
"We're actually high school sweethearts." He muttered proudly. Rose mocked him silently, earning a snort from colonel Smart ass.  
"Really! That's great!" The conversation sort of died after that. When the entree was served, Clare tried again. She was persistent, "I'm absolutely in love with your show." She said to Rose and I.  
"Who isn't." Rose smirked.  
"Thank you. It means a lot," I smiled sheepishly.  
"Win an Oscar, then we'll talk." Nathaniel muttered bluntly.  
"Well, that's not really fair." Clare raised a brow. Oh no, "It takes a lot of hard work to even get nominated, and there are plenty of rumors of their show being on the up and coming."  
Nathaniel pointed gently, "Exactly. Rumors. It isn't a reality."  
Clare raised her eyebrows as I rubbed my temples. Why...he was great all day long, and he waited until now to show is ass... Rose opened her mouth to speak, but luckily MacFarlane cut her off.  
"Well, Natey-boy, Rumors are the first step to being nominated." He stated, a deadly polite smile on his face, "It's too soon to shoot them in the foot so bluntly because, from a professional's point of view, they have just as much of a chance as my show Family Guy and Green's Robot Chicken. So, next time, before you start crapping on compliments your lovely fiancé and her friend receive, take the time not to say anything at all."  
"Seth—can I call you Seth?" MacFarlane nodded, "I apologize for attempting to view the world rationally. I just don't want Mari to be upset when her dreams crash and burn."  
"I think you mean if; if they crash and burn." MacFarlane corrected him graciously.  
"No. I meant what I said." Nathaniel stated nonchalantly, "IF the day comes and Mari proves me wrong, I will graciously accept it. Until that day, I will be the rationalizing Angel perched on her shoulder."  
"Can I be the rationalizing devil on her other shoulder putting a gun to his head: Say it mofo, I dare ya." Rose asked hopefully, tilting her wine glass to her lips. This earned a snort from half of the table. I took a long gulp of wine. This was going to be a long night...  
From that point on, I don't think Nathaniel liked MacFarlane very much.

Later that night, we parted ways. Rose, my fiancé and I went back to our two bedroom apartment in L.A. The drive was awkward, and I think the only think that kept it silent was the fact that Rose—who never drank—was a little bit tipsy. So, she just sat in the passenger seat smiling out the window.  
When we entered the apartment, Rose plopped down on the couch and passed out. I ambled into my bedroom to grab comfortable clothes and changed in the bathroom. After drowning myself in the shower and wiping the makeup from my face, I walked out and heard the fridge's door open. Raising a brow, I stumbled into the kitchen to see Nathaniel downing a beer.  
"Didn't know you drank..." I muttered, a small, playful smile tugging at my lips.  
"Didn't know it mattered." He grumbled, taking another swig.  
I raised both brows, my stomach tightening is surprise, "I-I–What?"  
"What was with the 'bashful innocence' routine?" He barked.  
"Bashful innocence...wait, what!?" I shook my head, trying to clear it.  
"That little miss innocent routine at dinner." My eyes were drawn to the beer bottle in his hand.  
"I think you've had enough to drink." I motioned to the bottle, not daring to take it from him.  
"I think I'll be the judge of that," He drained the bottle dry before reaching for a new one. Where were these coming from!? Rose and I didn't drink.  
"Nathan-" His hand covered my mouth.  
"You're voice sounds like a kid...and I hate kids..." He growled. I pulled away from him, my temper beginning to spark. "That little miss innocent routine makes it worse."  
"What the hell was with your 'realistic douche bag' routine." I countered.  
"Douche bag? So we're name calling now, are we?" He barked.  
"Nathaniel, that's the alcohol talking." I soothed, trying to ebb my own temper sparking. "Why don't you put down the bottle and we'll-"  
"What? Talk?" He barked out a laugh, chugging the bottle until it was half empty. "There's no talking because we don't have a problem."  
"Apparently we do–"  
"Says Miss Good-two-shoes." He took another gulp. As he ruffled my hair, the smell of cheap liquor on his breath instantly nauseated me.

"Nathaniel, put down the damn bottle." I yanked it from his hands and spun around to pour it down the sink before facing him again. His jaw tensed and his nostrils flared.  
"You had no right to fucking take that bottle out of my hands," He yanked it back from me, looked through the opening, and glared at me darkly. I yelped as he threw the bottle down at my feet, "Now look what you've done, better get cleaning before I get pissed off."  
"I'm not your maid." I grumbled defiantly, "You clean it up."  
"Don't tell me what to do." He growled taking my up by my shirt. I never panicked so badly in my life than that moment. He was about six feet tall, so my tiny 5'2" frame was practically like a rag doll compared to him as he lifted me off of my feet, my toes barely scraping the ground.  
"Nathaniel..." I started, trying to control my breathing. My heart thundered in my chest, "P-put me down-"  
"Shut up!" He shook me, but I still tried to keep a calm head. If we woke Rose, it would only cause an even bigger fight.  
"Nate...Nathaniel, listen to me." I tried to keep the waver out of my voice as the memories of my mother's first bitter marriage popped into my mind. For that brief moment, Nathaniel reminded me of my father...and not in a pleasant way. "Please put me down and we'll—"  
"Would you stop with the good girl routine!" He growled, pushing me away. I stumbled back, narrowly missing the glass that littered the floor and bumping my head against the door frame across the tiny space. A dull ache began in my forehead and radiated through my skull.  
"Dude...what's with the damn n-" Rose grumbled stumbling into the doorway, "Why is there glass on the floor?" I pushed myself off of my butt and to my feet, dusting myself off and ignoring the pounding in my head.

This was the exact same thing that my mother went through with my biological father. He was extremely emotionally abusive—at times even reaching physically. His abuse didn't just stop at my mother, so those thirteen years of my life were the worst I'd ever experienced. It wasn't until this moment that I realized, if I married Nathaniel, not only would I be subjecting myself to that sort of torture again, but I would be subjecting my children to that. I should have realized it years ago when he'd cheated on me or when he would pick a fight for absolutely no reason, but—just like my mother before me—I loved him so much that I was blinded to it.  
"Nathaniel," I didn't hide the tears in my voice, "I think it's best if you leave." He opened his mouth to argue, but I didn't let him continue, "We'll talk in the morning. Just leave."  
"You don't mean that." He spat.  
"Leave." I ordered.  
"Mari." I shook my head, "Maribelle-"  
"You heard the girl, leave." Rose's thin, ivory index finger pointed to the door across the hall.  
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," He sighed. "Mari, look-"  
"Leave." I choked.  
"Mari-" His voice was growing angrier by the minute.  
"Leave," Rose barked, "before I call the damn cops." He glared at her before grabbing his leather jacket off of the counter and shoving past her.  
"Fine..." He barked, "I don't need this shit."

That night was one of the longest I'd ever had. I stayed up all night, Rose holding me as I cried and ignored all of his calls. He left me countless voice-mails, all of them probably relaying just how sorry he was. He called at least fifteen times when Rose finally turned my phone off. The dull ache reverberated through my head, eventually dulling me into a deep sleep around two o'clock in the morning.  
Rose was already awake, and my alarm was a rude wake up call by my phone going off next to the bed.  
Pour some sugar on me/in the name of love—  
"Hello?" I groaned. Mr. Family Guy, himself, spoke into my ear.  
"So, did Rose kick is ass?" I had to shake my head to make sense of his words, but they were still ambiguous and groggy.  
"Wha..."  
"Did Rose kick his ass?" His voice sounded eager.  
"Whose ass...what?"  
"You just woke up didn't you?" He chuckled.  
"Yeah, why're you callin' at—" My eyes jumped to the digital clock on my bedside table, "Ten o'clock in the morning...?" Wait! Ten o'clock!?  
"Uh...because it's ten o'clock and most people are awake by then..." He droned sarcastically.  
"Slow down smart ass..." I groaned.  
"I heard that you and your lover boy got into a disagreement last night," He started, "I was just wondering if Rose kicked his ass...I wish I could've been there."  
"N-no...I-MacFarlane, I'll talk to you about it later." My voice broke despite my concentration.  
"Gotcha." He muttered, "Talk to ya later." Click.  
What the hell was that... Did Rose tell him?

My phone rang again. Pour some sugar on me/in th- "Hello." I muttered, not bothering to look at the caller i.d.  
"Oh! Mari, thank god..." His sigh of relief formed a lump in my throat.  
"What Nathaniel?" I muttered, forcing the lump down.  
"I'm so sorry," He plead, "I wasn't in my right mind. It was the liquor talking, I swear–"  
"I don't care." I muttered solemnly.  
"You said we'd talk about it right?" He said quickly.  
"Yeah-"  
"Then give me a chance to explain, please." He begged. "I promise, no alcohol, nothing, completely sober and everything...bring Rose if you think it'll help, but just...please."  
"Fine. Give me a minute to decide where." I ended the line, only to call Rose. The phone rang three times before a pleasant British male voice entered my ear.  
"Hello, baby girl." Rick said.  
"Where's Rose?" I muttered, wiping my prickling eyes.  
"Just dropped her off with MacFarlane, she must've left her phone in the car." He stated, "What happened last night? Rose was awfully pissed off this morning."  
"I—" I cleared the tears from my throat, "I'll talk to you about it if you can do me a favor."  
"Anything, sweetie."  
"Pick me up and take me to the park near our apartments." I muttered, wiping my eyes again.  
"Of course, baby girl." He said, "I'll be there in a second, darling. Be outside in ten."  
"Kay." End. I called Nathaniel back.  
"Mari!"  
"Meet me at the park down the street from the apartment." End.

I dressed in comfortable clothes: leggings and a plain dress—and walked down to the front doors just as Rick pulled up in his Camaro.  
I opened the passenger side door, slid in and kept my eyes on my hands as he turned the car around. The drive was only five short minutes including traffic.  
"So, who do I need to talk to about hurting one of my girls?" He flashed me a very Rick-like smile.  
"Nathaniel and I just had a disagreement last night." I wiped my eyes again.  
"Disagreement? Disagreements don't have you in constant tears, Mari."  
"Sure they do, Rick." I muttered, sniffling in a breath.  
Rick pulled into a parking space and we both got out. In the distance, I could see Nathaniel sitting on a generic wooden park bench, his head in his hands.  
"Do you want me to wait in the car, sweetheart?" Rick nudged me.  
"No, I'll need some support." I muttered softly. Rick and I walked forward as he lifted his head. He stood as we approached.  
"Mari–"  
"Have a seat, Nathan." Rick muttered coolly. His eyes flickered to Rick with defiance, but he thought better and obeyed.  
"Mari, I'm so sorry. I-"  
"Save it." I sighed, not wanting to bother with the explanation. "What happened last night-"  
"You have no idea how bad I feel about-"  
"Let the girl talk." Rick warned. He fell silent again.  
"What happened last night was ridiculous, and in many ways, unforgivable." I continued, forcing another lump down, "I don't care how drunk you were, you shouldn't have pushed me around. You were lucky Rose didn't clock you where you stood-"  
"Mari, please, let me explain!" He begged, "I love you. I will always love and you will always be the only one for me. Please believe me...I would never hurt you, and I know I shouldn't have ever-"  
"Alright, I've heard enough." Rick muttered running his hands through his gently graying hair. "I should clock you where you stand, boy. Your first mistake: You picked a fight. Second Mistake: You were drunk. Third Mistake: You put your hands on her. Shall I go on?" Nathaniel opened his mouth to speak, "Now you have the audacity to beg for her forgiveness...you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed, are you boy?"  
"Rick," I cautioned. I looked back to Nathaniel, "I don't know if we'll work."  
"Are you ending our relationship?" He gave me a heartbreaking look.  
"Nathaniel..." I pinched the bridge of my nose.  
"I understand..."  
"Don't give me that look..." I groaned plopping down next to him.

"You're not ending this because you've fallen for someone else is it?" I let out a groan.  
"Did you hear a word I just said!?" I sighed.  
"Yes-"  
"No. I haven't-"  
"Really... What about Green?"  
"Oh...you're asking me about..." I let out a shaky sigh of frustration, "You honestly believe that what happened last night isn't the only reason that I don't think we'll make it...?" Rick let out a frustrated sigh himself.  
"I've seen the way you look at him, Mari—"  
"Of course...Seth has nothing to do with this—yes, he and I are on a first name basis. We've done two episodes of Family Guy together and we've hung out since then. I think I reserve the right to be friends with him without having fallen for him." I said, a frustrated sigh lifting my words, "Yes, I am a fan of his acting. Yes, I think he is a very attractive man. Yes! I am an incurable Seth Green fan girl, but YOU have always had my heart Nathaniel."  
I stood and pointed to him, "You still hold it, and you will for a long time. After last night, I just can't do it any more. I can't handle the constant bickering over stupid things and nothing. I can't waste almost twenty years of my life devoted to someone who gets jealous over something as trivial as meeting one of my acting idols. Nathaniel, I love you. I just can't marry you. Not now. Definitely not after last night..."  
"I understand." I could see the hurt and betrayal in his eyes that told me that he fully believed that I was going to run into the arms of another man the second he was gone.  
"Bye, Nathaniel. I wish you happiness." I slid the generic diamond ring off of my finger, "Maybe we can try again when the two of us grow a little bit and progress in our lives." The corners of my eyes prickled again as I handed him the ring.  
"Are you sure?" He stood. I nodded standing too, "Well, I hope you have a nice life." He grumbled, stalking off into the distance.  
I cried.

A few days later, I actually found out that Seth and Clare were no longer together, and Clare was just there as a friend for him the night Nathaniel visited. Part of me tried to tell me that I regretted letting Nathaniel leave, but I knew that I would be better off. I couldn't make the same mistake my mother did and ruin, not only my life, but a child's.  
I was sitting in my dressing room, putting on my makeup and getting ready to start filming this week's episode. I was fluffing my hair, my mouth in a blank line. No smile. No grimace or frown. Just blank.  
A knock sounded at the door and a head poked in, "Hey, Mari." It was Seth.  
"Hey, Seth." I greeted softly.  
"How're you doing? I heard that you and Nathaniel aren't a thing any more." I held up my hand to show the absence of an engagement ring. "I'm sorry."  
"Don't be." I muttered, "I'll be much better off." I spun in my chair to face him. "How are you and Clare doing?"  
"Oh, well, we called it off about a week or two ago." He shrugged, a small smile on his face.  
"Oh. I thought—wait. You said you were getting married in the winter." I shook my head, wrapping my thoughts around his words. He wasn't engaged?  
"Were." He said, "Between work and personal life, we figured we were better off staying friends."  
"I guess it's a good thing he didn't know that at the time..." I muttered, exhaling a shuddering breath. "Well, I'm glad you're still on good terms."

He came in and sat on the love seat, "What about you and Nate? Still on good terms?"  
"Not really. He's convinced that I left him because I wanted another man, not just because he's a mean drunk and too much like my father." I sighed, swallowing the lump in my throat again.  
"Well, that mythical man would be a lucky one." Seth gave me a kind smile, stirring something in me that he somehow always did.  
"Well...He's not so mythical." I could feel the blush rise in my cheeks as I turned away.  
"Really? So what poor man was the jealousy aimed at?" He laughed.  
"Truth?" I muttered timidly.  
"Sure." His brow creased as he raised a brow.  
"You."  
"Me?" He paused for a moment before letting out a laugh, "I'm actually kind of flattered. If he saw me as a threat, then I must be something sort of special."  
"Always have been." I muttered.  
"Well, since you're free, no ring or anything, want to go out sometime?" He stood. The heat in my cheeks and tummy intensified.  
"S-sure...I-I..." I cleared my throat, "I'd love to."  
"Great!" He chimed.

"What a story..." Anne muttered dreamily. "So that was the start of your relationship?"  
"After a few dates, we tried our hand at dating." Mari smiled fondly, "A few months later, we were engaged. Then a few months after that, we were married." She and Green shared a soft kiss, their fingers intertwining.  
"Did you ever regret leaving Nathaniel?"  
"There were a few times I was tempted to call him back and beg for his forgiveness, but Rose smacked some sense into me, and I was cured." Mari chuckled.  
"Well, what about you Rose, how was her love life?" Anne looked to Rose.  
"Rose had a significantly...larger love life than I did." Mari muttered, "Other than my husband, Nathaniel was my only other significant relationship. I never had any in between booty calls like Nate."  
"Mari." Rose muttered.  
"Yes?" The brunette turned to her friend.  
"Your love life sucked." Rose stated bluntly.  
"Yeah I know." Mari giggled.  
"Tell us about yours, Rose." Anne urged.  
"You asked for it..." Mari mumbled.

**This is a long ass chapter. If you finally get to the bottom of this to read this. I hope you enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I actually based Nathaniel off of a mix between one of my exes and my father. Just shows you how the men around me work huh...  
Enjoy, and I apologize for the long ass wait. ~ Funsize **


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